Invisible Disability now visible, thanks Sam

Dear Sam

I hope you get to read this, or get your mum to read it to you. 

Sam you have done something that I have not been able to do, until I read your poem and that is admit that you are different to others, some call it a disability, we know it is not don't we.

You see like you I find many things hard to do. I can't ride a bike, swim, do P.E. or drive car, although my wife says I am pretty good at driving her mad! It might not seem it, but sometimes I find it hard to walk and I have a stick to help me.  I was bullied at school and called Jerk, because I have tremors and even now some unkind people mention it and I get really upset. Sometimes I have great big melt downs when I just can't cope with things. I don't like bright lights or loud sounds and most times I don't like large crowds, even with people I know.

I know you have a talent and love for dancing. My love is for words, I really love words and tend to write a lot. I love writing poems mostly, because then I can use words I like how I like to use them. Words make life sense to me when nothing else does. Yet even here I was bullied and even now some unkind people hurt me by correcting me, rather than understanding that I can't always get things right because I don't see them as being wrong.

I love reading and history, because no one can touch me when I am reading and I am just the same as others not different. 

You've been luckier than I was when I was your age, back then unless you had something to show that you were different like a wheel chair, no-one understood or cared to ask why you were finding things hard. Sometimes they would think you were just being lazy or had mental health problems, not that you had a disability which you couldn't explian.

Now you and I are alike in that we have people that love us and just accept us as being us which is great, because apart from cats who else can?

So when I read your poem, I though, Fuck it (mum might this word ) If Sam is brave enough, then why can't I be brave enough as well. So I got a Sunflower Lanyard and one for my wife to wear (as my carer)to tell the world when I go out that I have an invisible disability and I am not afraid to say so nor afraid to say I might need some help in coping.  So after all this time, yes I am right old now I have come out un afraid, because I thought, If Sam can do it then so can I. 

I told you I liked words, I like the spell checker even more as it means most words are good so this is a bit long.

So thank you Sam, my friend, from your visible friend Kev  

Coping with Fatigue by listening to what your body is telling you.

 Coping with Fatigue  is not easy, because it is not the same as just being tired, over the years I have really learnt the difference. When you are tired, you can to an extent push yourself beyond that, however the same is not true when you are fatigued. 

I have taken this explanation from a google : Fatigue is more than just tiredness. Fatigue can make it hard to get out of bed in the morning and prevent a person from fulfilling their daily tasks. Physical and mental fatigue are different, but they often occur together. Repeated physical exhaustion can lead to mental fatigue over time.

The above is the reason why some people find it very hard to cope with and that can end up with people getting depressed, because of the frustrations they feel.

Right now many people are experiencing fatigue as the result of Covid 19, the so called "long term Covid " and from what I have read and heard they symptoms are similar to Myalgic encephalomyelitis (not CFS which is different). As I have had this for many years I thought I would share my experiences on how I cope with it and how you might be able to return to a less fatigued state, may be even back to your "normal pre-covid state".

You have to start to learn to listen to what your body is telling you, this is very important, because if you don't then the down periods last longer and longer. 

Have a routine, that is keep to what you did at certain times before you became ill, like having a shower etc and breakfast and other meal times. If you worked then try to fill those hours as. You might not be able to do everything but don't worry about that.

Don't think you are going to be able to exercise as you once did, there is no way you are going to bounce back into that. Do a little at a time and you might find that little gets longer and longer over time. Don't listen to others telling you what to do, I can not stress this enough, listen to your body and do as it allows otherwise you will not improve and may even go backwards, people are well meaning so don't get upset by them.

Mental exercise is more important than physical, it might seem a daft thing to say, but if we use our brains, even by playing video games it helps the body.  How and why I just don't know, only that it does. Again don't over do it.

Change your diet! Cut out sugars and salt as much as possible, that is don't add it to things. If you need sweetener then use honey. As for salt, most processed food contains more than enough of that and you will learn to love the natural taste of fresh food without it. I use butter rather than other products again because it is a natural product. 

I want to stress the importance of natural products and food, because they do help greatly. The removal of man made chemical or processed things really does help, because they are what our bodies were built for. 

Have a treat every so often like choccy, it won't do you any harm and lifts your mood.

If you smoke, stop that damages your body and mind. If you drink then stop or have it at special time, then limit what you drink.

If you can't get out to do physical exercise, then go for a drive if you can or better still get someone to take you out so you get away from the home for a little while. 

THERE IS NO ONE ANSWER TO COPING WITH FATIGUE, BECAUSE WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT IT IS THAT SIMPLE. HAVING SAID THAT I WILL SAY THIS LISTEN TO YOUR BODY AND DON'T PUSH BEYOND, KNOW YOUR LIMITS AND OVER TIME THOSE LIMITS MIGHT EXPAND. IF THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN THEN THAT'S OKAY AS WELL, YOU CAN STILL ENJOY LIFE, JUST A DIFFERENT LIFE THAN BEFORE.

I am sorry for anyone coming here wanting more, I really don't have more to offer, even writing this is pushing my limits, but that's okay as I will go and rest again until my mind and body tell me its okay to do something else.

Friends

FRIENDS

Friends

A hand reached out

And was caught

Friends

I stumbled

But I did not fall

Friends

People to trust

Friends

Smile through our pain

Friends

Never let you down

Friends

A haven from the storm

Friends

You and me and us

Friends

Stars in my beard

Friends

Accept what you are

Friends

Star lights in the darkness

Here I am if you need one

To say I care

A friend 

(c) copyright merimaat 2021

I wrote this nearly 40 years ago as part of a collection of poems that I created and it is still together and I must get around to editing .  In these times it seems only correct that I share it as I mean every word of it as I did back in those years.

government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

 Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

These words are famously from The Gettysburg Address, by Abraham Lincoln on 19 November 1863 when the civil war was still happening in the USA. For me personally, although not born in the USA and indeed I have never visited it, they are the greatest words about democracy ever written. 

So many of us watched what we hoped would be history making this week when a new President and Vice President were formally shown to be that by the final act of the recent election in the USA. When we tuned in to watch the build up we saw yet another attempt by the present president to over turn the results and the results of what happened. Many, others have written about this and many more will do so, because yes we watched history, it wasn't the history we wanted to watch nor took any delight in doing so. 

The autopsy of these events and the reasons behind them is being done now and will continue for many years. I do not feel qualified to add my voice to this, but rather concentrate on the positive that came out from this.

Firstly the current Vice President rather than being bowed did his duty as did the members of the Congress in the USA . There will be a new President and Vice President sworn in on 20 January 2021 and history will turn a page as it always does.

The attempt of what many call a coup, failed and the leader of that coup, was shown up to be what many have told us and what many have known for years.

For all the good he might have done the soon to be ex president will not be remembered for that, only remembered by this coup attempt. 

I was going to pontificate further, as is my want to do so, but if we remember anything from recent events we should remember this:  government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. It didn't that day, because more people carry these words in their hearts than those who don't and until those words are unwritten by others Democracy will prevail.

So rather than the horror of that day perhaps we should all remember the success not the horror of it.

Internet Security why I chose to install Bitdefender

 Like so many people I really don't know that much about Internet Security, because it changes all the time and it is very hard and confusing to keep up to date with things. This is made worse by so many scare stories about Windows and this and that threat. 

Okay so some basics, Windows 10 comes with Windows Defender, which is very good as it comes with a firewall, the thingy that keeps some nasties out while letting you do things on the internet. For most things it is fine and scores highly on everything I checked out. I did a lot of checking out and ended up completely confusing myself. However most "independent" sites said it was great, but you might want to consider extra protection if you do banking on line. 

So this is where it gets even more confusing, because to be honest there are few "independent" sites on line and when you search you are confronted with advertisements all the time and it gets you no where. Now the usually reliable How to Geek, is great, it explains things and then directs you to Malwarebytes. Which kind of gets you thinking, it is not as independent as you thought it was. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with above, but it really does what its name suggest looks for malware. 

One sight that I would say take a look at is https://www.pcmag.com/picks/the-best-security-suites?test_uuid=001OQhoHLBxsrrrMgWU3gQF&test_variant=a which I personally found to be okay as I could not see that it favoured one over another.  I would say don't stop there look at other sights as well and I would suggest if you really want to know https://www.av-comparatives.org/test-results/ is a good site and most internet security and anti virus providers seen to say we got this score on here. 

After I did all of this and even went to Currys for help only to be told by a nice young man things I knew (by this time) not to be true, he, being a salesman, tried to flog me something I didn't need. 

To cut a long story short I went for Bitdefender, because I could put it on all the devices I wanted to do so and not have extras I really don't need. Yes there are additions if you need them, but if you want that level of security then go for a different one. I also went for it because it was one that was constantly rated everywhere.

The best price for it is via Bitdefender and if you read the instructions and follow them it is easy to pay for and to start installing. The download and install are fairly straight forward and you don't have to be an expert to do them. A word of caution at an extra price Bitdefender will offer to do this for you, but most won't need that help. I also found it was easy to add it to another device which just involves sending a link to it.

Once installed I did a full scan and was a bit concerned when Windows told me that I had no protection, but this is okay and soon resolves and Bitdefender takes over that and you really don't need to bother about it (although it is frightening to see).  It is also set to automatically update so once you've set it up you can forget about it. Personally I like the added protection it offers for online banking. 

As I say internet security is confusing, but in the end it is up to you if you have it or not - I have chosen to do so for that extra peace of mind. If you go for one then check it is suitable for you and don't go for one with all the bells and whistles if you don't need them.  Windows Defender is good for many people, but I would avoid "free" internet security suites, because, well there is no such thing as a free anything. 

It is my personal and I stress personal opinion that if you want the added protection and peace of mind than Bitdefender is the one I would and could recommend from my personal experience.