Time to say goodbye, Goodbye Narcissist,

There comes a time when you realise that you can give no more to another, nor should you do so. It is very hard to come to this conclusion and even harder if you are in a relationship with them, or they are a relative like a child or a parent.  I have struggled with this for over a month as no one really likes giving up on another and yet there comes a time when you really, for the sake of your sanity have to do it.

For years I have sought to understand and to forgive, to explain away, to blame myself for what another was doing. At times I have been made to feel so bad that I really thought, if this is the case then the world would be better off without me, they made me feel that low and then they would find some excuse to break contact and I would feel better for not having them stir these feelings up.

Always the same pattern would happen, they would want to "build bridges" and be very nice for awhile and then sometimes within days the nastiness and controlling would come through and like a fool I would take it.

I really thought I was going mad, or was twisted in my view, because I seemed to be the only one who saw these lies, nastiness, attempt to control, the, they are wonderful and I am shit, they are loving and successful and I am just a worthless failure incapable of moving on from the past and whom no one in their right mind would love.

Then came the wake up call, they finally went too far with their nastiness and lies, the "straw that broke the camel's back " had been loaded, but this camel wasn't for breaking. Everything that they were and what they were doing was clear to me, but I still thought I was to blame for the way the way they were. I asked friends to take a look in the hope that they would see what I was seeing.  It was only when I provided them with the full back ground that they saw it, because one thing could be just a person hurting. 

I was still thinking had I caused them to be like this? To be very honest, it was only a few days ago when a dear friend who is a brain box (they'll know who they are) spent over an hour with me talking about things and their own personal experiences, that I finally realised I would never understand, because I was nothing like this one, nor could I ever do so. As much as I want to continue to love the other one I really can't do so, because there is nothing left of that one and what is there now, well !!!

So after speaking with my dear friend who made me feel so much better they sent me this 

These simple words really made me fully see what type of character I have been dealing with all of these years and why I and most of us will never understand them. Simply as we are nothing like them we can't and I really don't think we would ever want to be like them.

I will forgive, it is in my nature to do so and I will continue to love as I have always done so, but I can not do these things towards this one.  I don't want any contact, I will not feed your perversions and your ego, I will not be your victim, nor put up with your lies. They will never understand that in recent times they've, through their own actions lost people who loved them and I doubt they even care. They will continue to do all the above as in the picture,  I really don't care. 

Time to say Goodbye. Goodbye Narcissist, the door has closed you can do nothing more to me -  

P.S. Thank you Jo a true friend and Dr Sparkles for you kind amazing words, to Stacey, Helly & Victoria for being there for me while I struggled. To my beautiful wife Aly who held me when I almost broke and "our Darren". It's time for the fat farty gumpysaurus to keep farting and saying the wrong things so a return to normal