HELLO I AM KEV AND I AM AUTISTIC -

Hello,  I am Kev and I am Autistic and I have been all of my life.  I have not suddenly, become Autistic through some vaccination or caught in along with Covid or via a blood transfusion and neither have the aliens who came down in their space ship given it to me (in fact after I bored them with my fascinating facts about earth and the many life forms on it they phoned home and told others of their kind not to come again).  I didn't even get it when I visited Yorkshire which will surprise many! 

So why I am I typing this blog now?  Well I have recently came across the term "masking" and have realised that, that is something I have been doing all my life which is very wearing to continue doing and I have reached a point now where I can not any long do so as my health (mental and psychical) suffers too much to the point where I have considered taking my life.  Surprisingly enough I have also discovered that there are others like me,  those that some would never believe or think of being Autistic who are Autistic. 

Let me get one thing correct right away.  My being Autistic does not change anything about me at all and it is just part of me that much as my being a male grumpysaurus is part of me.  

Few people have seen me in full "meltdown" and some who have, have just thought it was a really bad temper, not what it was.  I realise now that these meltdowns have happened all of my life, because I could not cope with the sensory overloads.   I now have the ability and the time and the love of my wife to help me to avoid as much as possible the overloads and when I can not, the time to rest (sleep) until I recover.  It doesn't always work and I still have "meltdowns" and will do so all of my life.

I am not going to give a long list of things, as others do about their experience of being Autistic as each experience is different and Autism,  as I have found out is as individual (or effects) as the person.  Oh and yes I have had that said to me by non-autistic people who think they know about it - nice words, just trying living with it! 

My acceptance of the fact that I am Autistic has taken a long time for me to do,  as I did think it was a mental illness, which it isn't.   Nor have I "jumped on any bandwagon" I really am terrible at jumping as I always leave one leg trailing !  Nor am I trying to gain anything from another, as this is mainly me trying to talk to me and saying " well we now have all the pieces together don't we after nearly 69 years".  

I really don't know how to complete this,  as being this "open" is very strange to me as it is not something I am used to being.  It is "freeing" and frightening at the same time and I don't know how to explain it otherwise.  Some that I have already told,  have,  I think been kind and accepting and have even gone as far to say,  "that explains a lot" and then have just treated me as normal.  My Aly just accepts me as her Kev,  the way she has always done,  which is what I need and my understanding is that all of us who are Autistic just want to be accepted as the person we are not the sign we have.  

SO I AM KEV AND I AM AUTISTIC - 

My review and thank you of -how not to fit in AN UNAPOLOGETIC GUIDE TO NAVIGATING AUTISM AND ADHD by Jess Joy & Charlotte Mia -

-how not to fit in AN UNAPOLOGETIC GUIDE TO NAVIGATING AUTISM AND ADHD by Jess Joy & Charlotte Mia - the capitalisation here is mine not theirs.

The opening of the book starts with language that I do not like and continues throughout the whole book.  It is not language that I like to see or use that often,  I personally found that uncomfortable every time I read it.  Nor did I like the facts of being told that I didn't need to read it all the way through (I read every book all the way through including the references and index) or to my horror that I could damage the book by turning down the pages and even worse write in the book!  All of this possibly tells you more about me than it does the authors and there is a part of me that understands that to others these things wouldn't matter and I am probably too old and "set in my ways" while a younger generation it would be okay to have all of these things included.  Nothing that I have written here should "put you off" getting and reading the book in whatever manner you wish/chose to do so, for it will not be a waste of your time or your money. 

The book is written in 3 parts.  Part1: Neurodivergence Discovery.  Part 2: What Happens Next?  Part 3: Navigating Neurodivergence.  Each part has sub-division chapters, none of which are too long and all of which you can take your time to read and think about.  Each Part concludes with a Workbook which is something I liked, although I never wrote in the spaces provided, as others might wish to do so. I personally found that there was something I could identify with in most of the chapters in all of the sections,  I would suggest that most people will do so, if not about themselves, certainly about a loved one, relation, friend, or someone they work with, or just know even in a minor way.  

The authors include their personal experiences which again others will probably identify more with than I could, although even here I found similarities to my own experiences.  What is very clear from these shared experiences, is as the authors state, we are all individuals and while we might "fit" into a certain category none of us the identical "blue-print/one size fits all".  The shared experiences also highlighted that we all learn to navigate our own way through things, sometimes successfully, sometimes not, this is why I think it is important to read theirs, if only to pick up a tip or two, or to "say" I have done that or I do that. Although it is written by lasses,  that doesn't mean that lads should feel excluded from it,  while the experiences might be different, there are a great deal of similarities.

CONCLUSION

Autism or Neurodivergence, whatever term you want to use is still great misunderstood by everyone although that misunderstanding now not as bad as it was, but there is still a long way to go and this will really help clearing that up.  I was left feeling that I wish that there had been something like this when I was far younger than I am now, if there had been then perhaps my life and my journey would have been easier and rather than that weirdo with the temper, the difficulties that I faced and still face now would have been understood and I would have been understood and have understood myself better and have been able to have navigate my way through life and situations far better than I have done and still find hard to do.  

This is the first book that  I have read of this type,  so I can not judge it with it along side other books which are written similarly.  I think that is a good thing and I also believe that this book is the one that. all should start off reading.

On a personal note,  I would like to thank the authors,  not for the swearing,  but for writing this book in such a way that most will understand (even if with the help of a dictionary) and say well done lasses for this book which has helped me in ways I was suspicious of thinking it might do and am pleasantly surprised that even this old grump still has much to learn and to do.

New King New Court Charles III The inside story Robert Hardman - my review

 I would not have normally purchased any book about the "Royal" family, yet I purchased this because I had watched the events of His Majesty the King, as they were televised since the death of his mother HM the Queen. While I had grown up with the Queen, she was more of my parent's generation not mine and the King was more of my generation. 

The book is at times, quite "heavy going" with the amount of detail that it goes into, which might put some people off.  I wasn't really interested in the HM the Queen's coronation as it took place 2 years and 3 months before I was born.  However, reading through it, I was surprised about some of the things I learnt of which the most surprising of all was about Winston Churchill !  Having had time to reflect I understand why the Queen's Coronation was included as the author clearly wanted to show the differences between the Queen's and the King's and how different, but similar they were. 

It is clear that Mr Hardman had access to many people while writing this book as he quotes them in their own words, which means he was trusted and is trustworthy.

There is a lot of "myth busting" and "corrections" in the book which I found particularly interesting as it really did show what we think and what we are led to believe might not and probably don't have any foundation in fact. 

Reading through the book,  I found myself with a greater understanding of Queen Camilla and have done a 100⁒ reverse turn on my views on her and her relationship with the King, which were mostly formed by what I thought was true as the only real knowledge of her that I had was through "media".  Rather than the "wicked witch of the west" the Queen is shown to be a loving wife and support to the King, his "rock" and his best friend.  There is so much more than I have the space to write here to discover in the book, so it is worth getting just for this.

As for the King, this book reminds us of the many, many things that he has done during his life-time.  I was surprised by how many things he has done and continues to do now he is King.  The picture that comes through is of human, not just a royal and that I was most pleased about.

In summery 

I really enjoyed this book, more so when the focus was on the King and Queen, but even those parts that are"boring" aren't really that boring to stop you from wanting to carry on reading the book all the way through.   Would I recommend it to others to read?  I have no hesitation in giving the answer to this question as yes, I would.  

THE FINAL LABLE - AUTISTIC THAT'LL DO

THEY SAID

I HAD A TEMPER

I WAS HAVING A MELTDOWN

THEY SAID I WAS MAD

I WAS JUST SAD

THEY TRIED TO MAKE ME

BE LIKE THEM

I COULD ONLY BE 

LIKE ME

THEY CALLED ME

FIXATED 

STRANGE 

A WEIRDO

THEY TRIED TO GET ME 

TO JOIN IN

WHEN ALL I NEEDED WAS TO BE ALONE

THEY SAID GO OUT TO PLAY

BUT ALL I WANTED TO DO

WAS READ BOOKS 

AND BE ALONE

AND WHEN THINGS GOT

TOO MUCH 

I RAN AWAY

THAT TOO WRONG FOR THEM 

BUT NOT FOR ME

THEY GAVE ME SO MANY DIFFERENT LABLES

THAT NONE FITTED 

ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE FREE

TO BE ME

THEN AT LAST I LEARNT OF OTHERS

JUST LIKE ME

AND THEY SAID NO  I COULDN'T BE

BUT I KNEW I WAS AND 

I COULD BE  FREE TO BE

WHAT I AM 

NOT WHAT IS EXPECTED OF ME

AND THEN ONE DAY SHE CAME

AND LOVED ME 

NOT THE LABLE BUT ME

SO I REMOVED ALL THE LABLES

STOPPED TRYING TO FIT IN

AND NOW AT LAST

I AM FREE 

HAPPY BEING ME

NOW YOU CAN CALL ME A LABLE IF IT HELPS

YOU UNDERSTAND OTHERS WHO ARE JUST LIKE ME

THAT'S OKAY REALLY

AUTISTIC 

YES THAT WILL DO 

©️merimaat 26/02/2024 

 

Card 14 February

CARD

OH MY LOVE

BY THE TIME 

YOU READ THIS

YOUR HEART 

WILL HAVE BROKEN

I AM SORRY I'VE GONE

AWAY

MY BODY JUST WOULDN'T 

LET ME STAY

OH MY LOVE

PLEASE READ THIS CARD

AND THE WORDS FROM 

MY HEART

OH MY LOVE

WE HAD GOOD TIMES

WE HAD HARD TIMES

BUT OUR LOVE 

SURVIVED

OH MY LOVE

THANK YOU FOR

ALL THE YEARS

IT IS NOT 

JUST A CARD

FOR VALENTINE'S DAY

IT IS A CARD OF CELEBRATION

OF MY LOVE FOR YOU

©merimaat 2024 

Macbook Air with M2 processor, my experience of on year of use and full review.

 Thanks to Facebook I was able to establish the fact that it is one year ago that I started to use my Macbook Air with the M2 processor, with 8GB of Memory, 256GB of hard drive storage, with built in Liquid Retina Display and a the size of that being 13.6 inches. The price I paid was approximately £1,200:00 with the later addition of the "magic mouse`'.  

When I purchased this, I also purchased a book on the operating system which was called Ventura at the time of purchase, as I was used to using Windows from Microsoft and thought it was a completely different operating system and I needed to learn all about it.  While the book did help and was worthwhile getting, I personally found the help from Apple was great and very clear and understandable once you were connected to the internet to get to the Apple site,

Returning to Macbook Air, it is very light weight and that is very noticeable compared to other lap tops that are available. The design of the keyboard, while slightly different to a Window Laptop is very, very good and within days I found that I really didn't have to look to find the keys that I wanted to use.  The touch pad which is in the centre of the laptop below the keyboard, I really like for its size and I found it easy to use and very responsive.  I do not use it that much at all as I like using a mouse.  I like the power connection which comes supplied along with a wall plug as it just clicks into place and disconnects easily. The Macbook uses USB C (I think) which means if you have an older type of USB connector you will have to purchase and adaptor, just be aware not to buy a cheap one as my personal experience it they aren't that good. The adaptor I I purchased also has an SD and micro SD slot which are good to have as the Macbook doesn't have any of these slots.  There is a headphone port, it is not something I have had to use so I can not comment on that.  The display is just great and you do not realise that you may have a smaller screen than perhaps you were used to having before.  If you use it just on the battery, then you should get a bout 8 hours before you need to plug in again, depending upon what applications you are using.  I have only once used this on battery and that was what I was able to get as I was just writing a document at the time and had no other applications opened.

Connecting to the internet was very easy, all I had to do was to enter my password etc for my connection and it was done and I have never had a problem with it since and have not had to change anything.  Connecting to my printer was very easy, all I had to do was turn it for it be found, which I didn't know until I wanted to print out a letter and thought I might have to set it as I had done previously on Windows.  Bluetooth connections are equally as easy to do, with a none Apple mobile phone, you just need to have both bluetooth connections open and accept the connection between the two.  I did purchase another mouse before I purchased the "magic mouse" and while that connected via bluetooth without problems it was not as easy as the "magic mouse" which the Macbook recognised and connected to without me having to do anything.  

When considering updates, my experience is that it best to set these to automatic so as you don't miss any that might be important.  There is an option for you to install over night or right away,  I have always done them right away and the most time that it took them to complete was approximately half an hour.  I have never had any problems with them at all.

Solving problems is very easy, unlike the Windows experiences I have had in the past.  It is just a few steps during the start up and it these are soon resolved.

If like me you had things on your Windows system that you wanted/needed, this is easy to do via file transfer which tells you what to do.  I have never had any problems with the applications I used on Windows getting them to work on either Ventura, or Sonoma.  I understand that some might have had, it has not been my experience.

Log on is again easy as it just requires your password and then you are ready to go.  I have liked the ability to use biometrics for other passwords I use because it is easier than having to remember them all. I also like the fact that while the passwords are used mainly on the internet, they are not stored there! 

CONCLUSION

My personal experience of using the Macbook Air for over the year now daily,  has been without hesitation very positive.  I would go as far to say that it has been the very best laptop or desktop computer that I have ever used.  I really have not had to change anything or remove things that I don't use or need unlike the experiences I have had in the past.  The hardware really is "user-friendly" and has been thought about making it that way by Apple and that really is to their credit.

Hardware is only part of the whole and it is the operating system that completes it.  Once you get used to where things are and it makes sense where they are and they don't get in your way it is a so easy and and I stress this fact easy to use and to navigate around that you don't really have to thing about. This is the only time I have not wanted or needed to make any changes in the way things are and I have kept with the browser (Safari) because it just works. 

VALUE FOR MONEY

Would I state that this was value for money? Well depending upon how you quantify value, if it is in terms of you could pay less for a Windows laptop and perhaps get better specifications for the price paid then the answer might be different.  However, if you quantify value with "user- experience" then it is excellent value for money and the conclusion must be, do we just want a thing that just works and have to use or do we want something that we love to use.  I would suggest the latter. 

My year of using the Macbook Air M2 has been great and for me it has been the best hardware and software combination I have had in nearly 30 years of using things.  

Would I recommend it Macbooks to others, yes and everyone I know who has had one would do so as well. 

WOMEN IN INTELLIGENCE THE HIDDEN HISTORY OF TWO WORLD WARS - Helen Fry - My WOW review/My Book of the Year

WOMEN IN INTELLIGENCE THE HIDDEN HISTORY OF TWO WORLD WARS - Helen Fry - My WOW review/My Book of the Year

If I had not seen this on X I really wouldn't have known about it and the wars of the last Century or not something that particularly interest me as far as my reading is concerned. However, seeing the posts on X I realised, that much like the Hidden Figures of the NASA space programmes,  I knew very little about the role of women during those major conflicts.  My view, shaped by various films and television programmes over the years were I suppose, that women played very much a supporting role to the men who were doing the fighting.  Yes I knew the Soviets had women fighting, but they are the Soviets and they do things differently.  Yes I knew a little about the women who were in the resistance, but very little and mostly from the Hello, Hello comedy show!

I have been reading books for over 60 years and in this book by Dr Fry is quite simply the best History book that I have read in all of that time.  I really can not praise it highly enough, it is that good.  The writing is clear and when terms are used they are explained.  Where information remains secret, the reasons for not including it are also explained.  There are some names that I knew, most however I did not and I certainly did not know any of those from the First World War, beyond the "famous" ones which most of us will know.  The book would have been worth getting just for that.  When it came to the part on the Second World War,  I kept going WOW and wanting to share the information with my wife.  

The stories of the Women were just waiting to be told and Dr Fry has told as many as she could in such a way that I felt I knew the person she was writing about.  There are lighter moments in the book, not many but one that really stood out and was a laugh out loud moment. 

Dr Fry covers all the areas of intelligence that women played a vital part in and as you read, you really learn how vital they were and without them doing so, the wars probably would have had a different outcome to what they did.

A first for me, is that knowing these were real woman,  I came close to crying many times and had to pause my reading as a result.  

Any one who reads this book, will be left wondering, if their female relatives had a role in Intelligence for as Dr Fry notes most of the woman are still unknown and their relatives probably don't know what they did during the wars, because they kept their secrets beyond the grave.

There is no hiding from the sexism of the periods and Dr Fry makes no attempt to cover it up by including some of the writings from that time.  Yet at the same time, we also learn that in many cases the Intelligence Services also led the way for equality,  just how far that has gotten is still debatable! 

I have no hesitation in calling this MY BOOK OF THE YEAR AND I WOULD ADD MY FAVOURITE HISTORY BOOK.   I CAN NOT RECOMMEND IT HIGHLY ENOUGH AND IT IS A BOOK YOU'LL NOT REGRET GETTING - I HAVEN'T DONE SO.